I feel like my boyfriend will only love me for the sex in our relationship.
What happened to the “I love you always” “I never will break up with you” “I’d die without you” and everything else you told me that is now a lie. How can you say that I said something on facebook about your brother and you can’t even tell me what it is. Just keep calling me a lying two-faced bitch. Why do you think I’d say stuff about anyone over facebook. Do I seem that stupid and ignorant to you? Well you’re the ignorant one. If you can’t prove to me what I said since I can’t find what you’re talking about, then I am 100% completely done with you forever. You bash on me for an hour and a half calling me names, telling me “fuck you”, and saying the most horrible things that I have ever had said to me and you will expect me to take you back? Even if you were drunk, that’d be reallllly hard to do. I will never in my life forget the things you just said to me. Then you broke up with me, which you said you never would. You always said that you’d never break up with me and if we ever broke up that I’d be the one to do it. But clearly that wasn’t true was it. You didn’t even take a second to think about what you were doing and just broke up with me right on the spot. I was balling my eyes out for that entire time to my dad. You’d hate to know that he knows what is going on, but I do not give a shit at this point. What am I suppose to do. Just cry in my bed alone all night with you texting me every second rubbing it in my face that you broke up with me. Sorry, but texting me and saying “have a great life without me ;)” and telling me to “go crazy ;)” is just being even more of the asshole i now know you are. I did so much for you and helped you out with so much and I got barely anything in return. I wrote a paper for you, I even just started to do your geometry packets you asked me to do for you and I get this shit. I gave up my virginity for you because you just had to have sex to be happy and it felt like the right time to me after a year and two months and two days. But honestly right now I really regret doing that with you. Why should I have gave up something important to me to be treated like this now. Everything you told me must have been a lie. All those promises that you wouldn’t do certain things I didn’t like, the promise to stop smoking (that you lied to me about four times and promised me that you’ll quit this time), it must have just been a lie. My dad really dislikes you now. You thought he didn’t like you very much before, but now knowing what you called me, he really doesn’t like you. He kept telling me to move on and find another guy who’d treat me better the entire time I was crying to him. Maybe I’ll do what he said and find someone who doesn’t do this to me. Someone who believes me with what I say. It really feels like this is completely over between me and you and it breaks my heart. No one’s hugs, kisses, cuddles is like yours. Nothing compares to you. I was honest when I told you that even when I’m upset and mad at you and we’re fighting that you’re the one that I want. And I really need you here with me now more then ever. I need you to hug me from behind like you do when I was in your bed turned the opposite way of you because I was mad at you for something. I need you to kiss me on my forehead and rub my back while I’m crying like you used to. I need you here with me to tell me you’re sorry and that you’ll make it up to me. I need you to cry with me like you have before when you knew you hurt me really bad when I leave your bed to go cry hysterically on your couch. I need you to know how much I cried tonight and realize how much you hurt me with those things you said. But I really need you to come, right now, drive to my house, pound on my back door calling my name, and hug me tightly and say how much you love me and how sorry you are when I answer the door. But I can’t expect that to happen. You’d never do that. I wish you would. I wish I had my phone still to know if you said sorry after all those texts telling me to go have fun without you. But I won’t know if you did till my dad gives me my phone back tomorrow, if I even want to turn it on to read everything all over again and possibly have my phone flood with texts from you. I really wish this didn’t even happen. Because I know I love you more then I ever thought I would.
